Living Between the Questions

I'm a person who questions things by nature. Maybe 'questions things' is putting it lightly. I am an analyzer, and usually an over-analyzer. I will question something to death if you let me. I'm pretty sure this tendency drove away countless boys of my youth. Luckily I've found a husband who defines the word patient. But this adoption journey is certainly testing both of us lately.

So, what have I been questioning? Everything. When will we get our referral? Will we feel at peace with the referral we get? If our child has special needs, will we be able to meet those needs? Should we be fighting harder to increase our age parameters? What will happen if Ethiopia decides to halt international adoptions while we're in process? Should we have just pursued foster-to-adopt domestically instead? Some of these questions I'm okay not knowing the answers to just yet, but others keep me up at night wondering.

Lately we've felt particularly unsettled by our age parameters. Although our social worker finally agreed to approve us for one child age 0-7, she was adamant about only approving us for a sibling pair ages 0-5. The thing is, we really want siblings. Like, really really. We know there is a huge need to bring home older siblings, and we feel like we have the heart, space, and resources to do that. So we've decided to talk with our placement agency this week to see if they will allow us to get another social worker's opinion. We've found an experienced social worker who is willing to approve us for siblings age 0-7, but only IF our placement agency agrees to the change. We're not certain if they'll say yes, but it's worth a try.

Oh, and in case you're starting to worry, in between all of this questioning we've also been busy having a whole lot of fun! This fall has already been so full. Here's a look at how we've been living lately: